True Story From an Anonymous Contributor #1
By the time I understood what pornography was, it was too late. My conscience was telling me that what I was doing wasn’t right, but I didn’t know how to stop. I hid my problem from everyone, convinced everyone would hate me for what I was doing, as much as I hated myself. The more I [watched], the more I hated myself, and the more I turned to pornography for release. As a form of punishment, every time I messed up I wouldn’t allow myself to eat a meal. I saw it as a good solution. By doing so, I might defer myself from [watching], while getting the kind of body the women I saw had. My perception of beauty was warped. My perception of everything was warped…I tell myself, no one would ever guess I have this issue, so there must be others out there who are hiding it just as effectively as I am.
I was pretty naïve.
I was standing in a cold phone booth, far away from home when my mom broke the news to me.
My brother was getting a divorce.
I had never even heard of a “pornography addiction.”
I remember looking through the frozen glass, at the streetlights glaring off of slick streets, seeing nothing but my own shock.
She was a part of my family. She had been like my sister. She was a good person.
But uninvited, as I thought back, pieces started falling into place. This new information answered questions that I had never even consciously asked, but now that I knew, it seemed so obvious. We all should have seen, could have seen, if we had wanted to.
The strain in their relationship, the tension, the distrust, the lack of respect.
I never knew until that moment that my family could be part of the statistics.
Anonymous stories of the effects of pornography in the lives of individuals and their family members will be posted on the main page of the site.
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Too many people suffer in silence from the effects of pornography.
Here is where that silence ends.