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Just like Big Tobacco, the pornography industry doesn't want the public to know the dangers and effects of their product. You have been told that watching porn is normal, harmless and that everybody does it. You have been lied to. Find out the TRUTH. Then make your choice.

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Confessions of a Porn Addict’s Wife #2

Posted by porntruth on October 12, 2014
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I found out yesterday that my husband had spent the previous night watching porn on his cell phone while I was asleep next to him. He stayed up until 2 in the morning watching porn and then woke up and continued masturbating and watching porn until our son woke up and needed him.

I was lying in bed right next to him asleep the whole time.

I can’t really describe the anger I’m feeling right now. I feel so stupid for believing that he would change, that he wanted to change, for believing that he loved me, that he cared about our family. That he cared about anyone, anything but himself.

I feel like he’s two different people. One is the person he wants everyone to believe he really is: active in his congregation, involved father, loving husband, hard-working and ambitious. The other is the person that he is when he’s alone with a computer. I think I may be in love with a person that he wants to be, but isn’t. I think I may have married someone who doesn’t exist.

“I lost control,” he said.

I try to fit those words into some space in my mind where they make sense or help at all. It’s like jamming a square peg into a round hole. I feel myself going numb again, filled with rage. Blackout rage, dangerous rage, out of control rage.

It’s the impotence that causes my rage. Because I’ve been in this marriage long enough to know that there is nothing, absolutely nothing that I can do about his betrayal, his choices, his lies. It will keep happening until he wants it to stop and it’s just that simple. It’s not really about me. I know it really isn’t, but it sure does fuck up my life enough for it to become about me.

Your Brain on Porn

Posted by porntruth on May 24, 2013
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Donald L. Hilton Jr., MD speaks to Youth and Parents about Pornography and its impact on the brain

Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Posted by porntruth on May 14, 2013
Posted in: Uncategorized. 1 Comment

           PORN-RELATED SEX                                                                      HEALTHY SEX
Sex is using someone                                                                           Sex is caring for someone
Sex is “doing to” someone                                                                  Sex is sharing with a partner
Sex is a performance for others                                                           Sex is a private experience
Sex is compulsive                                                                                  Sex is a natural drive
Sex is a public commodity                                                                   Sex is a personal treasure
Sex is watching others                                                                Sex is about genuine connection
Sex is separate from love                                                                 Sex is an expression of love
Sex can be hurtful                                                                                          Sex is nurturing
Sex is emotionally distant                                                                          Sex is emotionally close
Sex can happen anytime                                                                Sex requires certain conditions
Sex is unsafe                                                                                                       Sex is safe
Sex can be degrading                                                                               Sex is always respectful
Sex can be irresponsible                                                                Sex is approached responsibly
Sex is devoid of morality                                                                Sex requires morals and values
Sex lacks healthy communication                                           Sex requires healthy communication
Sex involves deception                                                                               Sex requires honesty
Sex is based on visual imagery                                                           Sex involves all the senses
Sex has no ethical limits                                                                      Sex has ethical boundaries
Sex requires a double life                                                           Sex enhances who you really are
Sex compromises your values                                                               Sex reflects your values
Sex feels shameful                                                                               Sex enhances self-esteem
Sex is impulse gratification                                                                      Sex is lasting satisfaction

 

© 2008, Wendy Maltz & Larry Maltz, from The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused By Pornography (p. 182). http://www.HealthySex.com 

True Confessions From a Porn Addict’s Wife #1

Posted by porntruth on April 9, 2013
Posted in: Uncategorized. 1 Comment

For the sake of anonymity, let’s call him John and me Jane.

I’ve got divorce papers sitting on the desk in front of me next to a bottle of klonopin.  You can’t make that stuff up. Believe me, I wish I could. But I don’t want to go giving the ending away. It’s catharsis I’m going for here, and awareness. So let’s start at the very beginning.

My heart is so riddled with holes caused by porn addicts that it’s beginning to look like Swiss cheese. There was my uncle, whose lifelong porn addiction resulted in a string of affairs and one of those slow-motion car wrecks of a divorce that indelibly shook my whole family. I was 12 then. Then my sister. She was married for 10 years before she got tired of the pathological lying, objectification and emotional abuse of living with a porn addict. By that time I was 19. Then in college, the man who was for several years “the man of my life” was a heavy-using porn addict.

I thought when I walked away from that incredibly formative relationship at 21, that I had decided once and for all that no love could be worth living with such an emotionally destructive addiction. I had chosen that I deserved better. That I wouldn’t be the doormat kind of woman to put up with that treatment.

Then I met John. John’s one of those guys with bright, shiny eyes and a face that you just trust instinctively. He’s got the personality of a puppy dog. He wants to be everybody’s friend. So when we started dating, and we got to the point at which I had learned to ask every guy I dated about his porn usage, I expected him to say that it had never been a problem for him.

John admitted that he’d struggled with it in his teens. He even used the word addiction. But he assured me that it was all in his past, and that it hadn’t been a problem for a long time. When I pressed him, he admitted it had only been a couple months since his last relapse.

I was stunned. He wasn’t the type. And trust me, I can usually spot a porn addict in a crowd. The way they look at and speak to women, something in their eyes. It’s not usually hard to see. But John didn’t have any of that. So I told myself, it must not really be a part of him, or he would be like the other addicts I’d known. When he told me how committed he was to never look at it again, how disgusted and ashamed he was of his past, and when he promised me that he was done, I couldn’t help but believe him.

He would look into my soul with these enormous green eyes. They looked like an owl’s eyes. And when he looked at me like that, I knew I could trust him. I couldn’t believe that such a sweet, caring, loving man could really be addicted to the violent, degrading filth that is pornography.

I believe in God and I believe that He tried to warn me. He knew the choice was mine, but He warned me of the pain that was in my future. The greatest pain of my life. When we got engaged and John relapsed just a few weeks before the wedding, I felt like it was God warning me. But at that point I was too crazy in love, too far committed, the dress, the venue, the invitations. And I still believed John when he promised me with tears in his eyes that time would be the last.

“I’m done,” he told me. “I swear I’m done.”

On my wedding day, as I walked toward the alter, I heard a voice in my mind say,

“Bitterly disappointed.”

I was horrified at the thought and I shook it off, telling myself it was just my overly-cautious-bordering-on-pessimistic attitude, or maybe it was Satan trying to ruin what was in every other way the happiest day of my life. But unfortunately, it has proven to be quite prophetic.

The tragedy in this story isn’t really all the pain and anxiety and darkness that has come from John’s addiction. The tragedy comes from what might have been. Our love was (is?) so beautiful. So beautiful that typing those words makes me break down in tears. Because how do you describe all the beauty and light that exist between two people in love? The sweetest treasures of my life are the moments of true love that we shared together. In every other way I believe that John and I were absolutely made for each other.

That’s where the tragedy is. It’s in the death of that beauty. The destruction of purity and innocent hopes and trust. Two people committed to one another in bonds of love, trust and mutual respect is a sacred thing. That is the loss that I mourn now. 

The Truth About Pornography Addiction

Posted by porntruth on March 28, 2013
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by ASAP science

Porn Use Leads to Low Self-Esteem

Posted by porntruth on March 28, 2013
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

“Education expert Jonathan Doyle argues in a new online post that pornography has a powerful relationship with low self-esteem.

Doyle, who has delivered live seminars to over a quarter of a million people is the founder of a new website called Stopusingpornography.com which provides paid online programs and free articles on porn addiction and how to get help for porn addiction.

He states, “In all the years I have delivered live seminars on the topic of porn addiction I have never had someone come up to me and tell me how wonderful pornography has been for them and how much it has helped their relationships. What we do find is a trail of personal pain and damaged capacity for genuine intimacy.”

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2013/2/prweb10449719.htm

Children As Sex Crime Perpetrators

Posted by porntruth on March 28, 2013
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“A shocking number of children have been arrested in connection with sex crimes in the North, with experts blaming online pornography.

In some cases those arrested were as young as six, a Sunday Sun investigation has revealed.

Our probe shows how almost 500 children aged 17 and under were arrested for sexual offences according to police data, 20% of which were formal investigations into reports of rape.

Of those arrested, more than 140 were 13 or younger – with 40 of those being on suspicion of rape.”

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/experts-blame-online-pornography-hundreds-1752997

Porn Has No True Believers

Posted by porntruth on March 28, 2013
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“When it comes to pornography, there are no true believers. That’s because — outside of grotesque self-deception — it’s not possible for a man who has made vows of fidelity to a woman and vows of protection for his children to consume pornography and say it was a right and good thing to do. No one would dare mouth such words. It would be a lie and it would make him a coward. Those who produce, distribute and consume pornography cannot stand up straight, look you in the eye and tell you they feel good about their self-medicating contribution to society.

And yet we protect the devil’s own cesspool on grounds of free speech and tolerance. With dripping intellectual pretension, we teach the next generation that erotica is a legitimate literary genre. We are, as the founding president of Stanford University David Starr Jordan once said, “shirking the bonds of love for the irresponsible joys of lust.”

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765624900/Pornography-has-no-true-believers.html

Teachers Need Help Warning Kids Against Dangers of Porn

Posted by porntruth on March 28, 2013
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“Little ones are seeing inappropriate films and video games while staying up late or being in the same room as other siblings. We are noticing a much more explicit vocabulary emerging and types of games among the very young that are quite sexually explicit.”

Niamh Sweeney, a teacher in Cambridgeshire, singled out the book Fifty Shades of Grey for “normalising” violent relationships. She said: “It is not erotic fiction, it describes a violent and abusive relationship.”

http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2013/mar/26/children-lessons-pornography-teachers

“

A rising tide of pornography is engulfing children from the age of eight on the internet, a teachers’ conference heard today.

“For many young people, pornography now precedes sex and many will have seen hundreds of strangers having sex before they have any sexual contact with another person,” Helen Porter, from St Gabriel’s school in Newbury, Berkshire, told the Association of Teachers and Lecturers conference in Liverpool.

Delegates demanded that teachers should receive specialist training in how to deliver lessons warning of the dangers of pornography as a result.”

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/train-us-to-deliver-lessons-on-dangers-of-pornography-plead-teachers-8549755.html

Posted by porntruth on March 28, 2013
Posted in: Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Awesome realizations from a recovering addict

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